I’ve had a really hard time with this project, especially in the winter time. When things get so cold and wet and dark, I have a really hard time getting outside. I used to feel guilty over this, but I don’t feel that way anymore. It feels more like longing for something I can’t have. I don’t really know or have routines down for spending time outdoors during the winter. I know natives here gathered wapato even in the cold winter months, but I don’t have the heart to try that yet. Instead I have focused more on the cultural aspects of rewilding. I have spent a lot of time writing and putting on events like the Derrick Jensen talk and the Nuclear Winter Formal.

I consider this project more about cultural reconnaissance than anything else. I gather information about escaping the captivity of civilization through rewilding and I share it here. I also share that information through the events and community gatherings that I facilitate. The winter provides a good time for this, as I have a difficulty getting outside and most things have died back anyway. Winter breeds storytelling around a fire.

But… I just don’t seem to care lately about these events. I put so much energy into them, and I don’t seem to get a return, at least not monetarily which would feel nice and seem more noticable. I do get good press when I run events, but I don’t know if the time investment evens out. I have realized that throwing events does not make me happy at all. I realized that writing this blog and practicing the physicality of rewilding makes me happy and I need to focus on that.

So this week I will brainstorm what I can do to get back on track with my weekly laundry list and the less philosophical more educational teaching blogs.

Plus, I have to find a job…

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