Not A Penny To My Name
A lot of things have changed since the last time I posted an inconsequential blog, so here goes; I’m broke, single and living back with my parents in Molalla. I haven’t written in a while because I feel like I have nothing to say at the moment, but I know I have lots. For the last couple of months I’ve been crossing my fingers hoping to get on a reality tv show that I auditioned for. I didn’t get on it, for better or worse. I’d like to give you a daily snippet, but I don’t really have a typical day. So here is a mosaic of my days blended together.
So I’ve been doing a lot more production work again. I love it, even though it has nothing to do whatsoever with rewilding. With Penny Scout and I broken up, I’ve taken it upon myself to learn more about herbal medicine making since she did that for both of us. Now I’ll have to make it up myself. I’ve picked up my banjo again and have been playing until my fingers bleed. Okay, not really but practically! I finally got around to sewing this pair of wool pants but then I accidentally shrunk them in the wash. My book is basically done. I have no idea what to do now with it. I want to revise the focus of the rewild camps, moving away from the skill-share to the social-networking aspect, but I don’t have the time, inspiration or the resources to work on that right now.
I always feel a little lost, and although I feel very lost right now, I also feel like I’m more myself than I have been in years. Stay tuned for more bullshit.
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Show your support and appreciation for Urban Scout
On the video: I’m disappointed and frustrated that as you went into rewilding she just goes “Are you a hippie?” I wouldn’t say she was being disrespectful, but it just seemed like she was tuning out in some parts. I wish people would take this stuff seriously unstead of just going “Uh oh, another lunatic fringe doom-and-gloomer.”
Anyways, for what it’s worth I think you might have given her too much. It’s unfortunate, but people prefer vagueness.
hey Scout, glad to hear from you…. you’ve got an interesting list of books in yer my picks section – interesting cause I’ve read lots of them…. wondering if you’re “for real” about rewilding or if you’ve given up on it, or if you’re convinced it’ll have to have something to do with being a productive member of the reigning dysfunctional society, ….. or what? you bending or breaking? perhaps bent and broken? let me know, please. I give a fuck.
Scout, haven’t said hi since the days on the Derrik Jenson forums. Hope your not giving up. Being broke as funk is a precondition for rewilding. Money neither grows trees or grows on them.
Tony,
I was ready for that hippie thing though. Same thing happened with the Portland Mercury. It’s a fairly common theme.
Destroying Angel,
I have not given up. I’ve had to change gears though for sure. I’ve had to accept that because of how I have chosen to presence myself that I will always have to work “above ground” in terms of rewilding. So yeah, now I’m trying to figure out how to leverage the bureaucracies to actually do some good. In Portland, it shouldn’t be *that* difficult to figure out. Unfortunately, I’ve also got to make a living, and I have yet to figure out a way of doing that and maintaining the rather large presence in this culture; I could disappear and rewild but what good would I be doing? My role is to bring people to these ideas and come up with solutions and strategies for rewilding. That immediately makes it nearly impossible for me to rewild off the grid, so-to-speak.
BlackPaker,
Never give up, Never give in! Still here. Still me. Just figuring out the next big thing. 😉
Got any tips for tanning a possum hide? I’ve tried a few possums before and they seem to end up rotting really quickly…anyway, I’d appreciate any tips…
Thanks,
Possum
Dear Scout,
So sorry … my heart hurt for you.
Glad you have the “Never give up, Never give in!” attitude.
Lots of hugs and love for you.
Christine
scout – thanks for the timely reply. I wrestle much with the question “I could disappear and rewild but what good would I be doing?” What if rewilding doesn’t have to mean disappearing? What if it were a totally in yer fuckin’ face rewilding? Why don’t we start our own reality show? Are you willing to bark at the heels of some egotistical fuck that only cares how many like you he’s got trailing behind him? Below I’ve reiterated a response that I gave to a similar line of questioning from another feral hearted struggling soul. I’d really like to hear what your thoughts are. Why? Not sure, but you seem like you, too, are smart and give a fuck. (Also, you can read the blog in its entirety on http://reinvent09.blogspot.com/)
“(L), I honor you for doing what you feel needs to be done for the greater good. You’ve put your selfish desires aside and are suffering for the liberation of others, and that is commendable. Somewhere in me I can’t help thinking, or at least hoping, that the creator and I have conspired before my birth to give me the outlandish dreams that I have and, further, that the pursuit of those dreams is the very best thing that I can do for my people. It might seem like selfish escapism, but if my dream of dreams is to live primitively and start a free school where others can come to live and learn and love (learn to live to love to live to learn to love to…) then there’s no sticking around and working in a school, hospital, soup kitchen, or whatever that is going to help my people more than following my vision, in the words of TBJ, or following my bliss, if you prefer Campbell instead. I totally agree with the need for planting seeds, but on the wings of my unbridled dreams I will be the most effective tool for the dispersal of those seeds, not treading water in the sesspool with the voluntarily handicapped. I know that sounds pretty offensive, but it’s not meant to be. I am still one of the volunatariily handicapped of which I speak, so there truly is no condescension in what I say. I have accepted the role of slave for far too long, and it’s time for the next act in this play, the one where I leap from the nest and pray that our mother has been telling me the truth all these long years, that there’s a whole other world just waiting for us to explore. Flight is our birthright, and not to worry, there’s plenty of work to do for our brothers and sisters back in the nest once we take flight. Just think…. who would feed all those baby birds if none were willing to turn there back on them and learn to fly for a time. Not to abandon them, but with every intention of returning with real sustenance, not just the lice we’ve gotten so used to picking from each other’s backs…..
best wishes,
DA
awwwwwwww if it makes you feel any better I moved back in my mother while I school… don’t see why it would but anyway *hugs*
Reality shows only want drama queen freaks participating. They give demerits to people who make sense and are reasonable. I don’t trust one thing about them, and I think you are lucky not to be selected. Seriously. So I don’t know all that you’ve been up to, but it seems like there’s been lots of changes. Do you need a hug and maybe a cup of coffee? Would love to get together and try to help…
Marie
Hey Scout,
One foot in front of the other, man. Sorry you’re Pennyless.
Great audition/interview. Even though it didn’t land you the show, roughly the second half is like a strong crash course in the human situation and rewilding.
I’ve learned from you here and elsewhere on the Web recently. I’m swamped with a short-term project right now, trying to call attention to the issue of human overpopulation — trying, I guess, like Quinn, to avert collapse, but starting to wonder if that’s really the best course.
My interest seems to be moving closer and closer to true rewilding. In a few weeks, I’ll definitely be in touch.
Possum,
I’ve never skinned or tanned a ‘possum before. Sorry!
Christine,
Thanks for your nice words!
Destroying Angel,
Thanks for sharing that bit. It helps! And yeah, I totally agree.
BigD,
Haha, yeah. I actually don’t mind living with my parents, in fact in every other country than America, that’s pretty much what people do! But yeah, unfortunately I live here and have been brought up believing I need to move out and blah blah blah. Haha.
Marie,
Yeah let’s get coffee! Call me.
John,
That’s awesome! Drop me a line anytime!
scout,
i’d love to engage in some finger bloodletting with you sometime. i’ve got the wild (and a bit of the rewild) in my songs, and hope to bring them to oregon soon, and maybe meet shusli & eugene while i’m at it. can ya play casey neill’s dancing on the ruins??? (i think this might have been the primary reason the banjo was invented – to tear it all down with a plink, a plunk, and a little twang as well).
I agree with Mariadeathstar. internet is much better for what you are doing.
You are on the right track tho, anyone that has realized nature’s rightful place and their own rightful place in nature, is on the right track no matter what any other humanist says.
take heart, you are on the right track.
“Stay tuned for more bullshit” Ha ha, I should title my next zine that. Hope you’re doing okay. It was good to see you at my party- thanks for coming.
Should you be at recent changes camp? Going on all day, also tomorrow. Yesterday was great! http://2009rcc.org/RecentChangesCamp
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And sure, kissing feels completely natural, but is it instinctive? Given up to ten percent of humanity doesn’t even touch lips, should we accept it’s actually a cultural phenomenon? I’m not convinced. You see, kissing undoubtedly allows us to find out all sorts of information about our partner. We’re exchanging pheromones. In fact, when we’re engaged, our bodies release a cocktail of chemicals related to social bonding, stress level, motivation, and sexual stimulation. We become, in effect, ‘under the influence.’ It’s powerful.