Everyone I have talked to who has been through Lynx Vilden’s stone age immersion program has had good things to say about it. Not that it didn’t have its challenges, but that they are worth it. Ever since I signed up I’ve been having little fears pop up about it. Here is the list:

IBS
I have Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS). As of late, I have it under control through diet, nutrition and exercise. I am allergic to most things, so I eat a very limited diet of meat, vegetables and some fruit. My diet shouldn’t be that big of a problem since it’s very close to a hunter-gatherer style diet anyway. Although I’ve learned how to predict my IBS, it can still be quite spontaneous and that scares me. One of my worst symptoms is “urgency” and lack of bowel control. Basically, when I have to go, I will go. Whether there is a bathroom or not. Now in the last few years I haven’t had any accidents, but this is always present in my mind. The nice thing about being in the woods is that you can pretty much dig a toilet anywhere. Urgency won’t be too much of a problem out there. But the diarrhea might. Since I’ve been drinking bone broth every day and eliminated pork from my paleo-ish diet, my diarrhea has all but stopped. Out there, though, I probably won’t have too much access to bone broth. I’ll also have to eat greens, and sometimes those greens go right through me. This will be bad if my body stops absorbing nutrients while I’m out there possibly going hungry a lot of the time. IBS is my number one worry because of the amount of anxiety that it fills me with. I think I’ll be okay, but the uncertainty of it is like a dark cloud looming over the other inspiring aspects of the project. If I can do this and overcome the IBS, the fear and anxiety associated with it, it’s going to change my life forever.

Hemorrhoids
One of the side effects of IBS is hemorrhoids. Generally these are also kept at bay with diet, nutrition and exercise. The less diarrhea I have, the less likely the hemorrhoids will flare up. But sometimes they flare up from things like hiking. Since I’ll be hiking around through the mountains quite a bit, I’m nervous that I’ll end up with an itchy butt. I’m going to make a lemon balm & cottonwood salve to bring with me should I need it to help out with that.

Physical Strength
I’m not sure if I’m strong enough physically to carry a heavy pack around the mountains for a month. A friend who is a personal trainer started to make me train but my immune system is acting weirdly and I can’t shake this cough and sore throat. I’m taking a couple of tinctures and am going to experiment on myself with English Ivy tea to see if it can curb my cough. I’m hoping that I’ll be well enough to continue my training through the two months of preparation so by the time the month of primitive living rolls around I’ll be much more fit. I have a good feeling about this.

Preparations
I’m sort of nervous that I only have three more weeks to prepare. The hide-tanning process is taking longer than I thought. I only need to tan three hides to have the bare minimum, since three of my close friends each gave me an amazingly soft brain-tanned buckskin. I’m planning on tanning seven myself though, since I’ll need food containers and other such things.

Group Dynamic
I’m honestly not too nervous about group dynamic, but after watching a decade of reality shows, I’m a bit apprehensive. I’m an easy going person. I can get along with most people. I feel excited by the opportunity to meet and become close with a dozen more people as serious about rewilding and ancestral skills as I am.

Sex & Intimacy
No one wants to talk about the elephant in the room, but I’ll mention it just to make it known. Sex is a human need. It will be strange to leave my girlfriend back in Portland while I travel off for a backwoods adventure for three and a half months. It’s not like anyone died because they didn’t get laid for a few months, but it is undeniably a need of humans. I am also aware of the power that camp has in creating bonds of intimacy between people. These things should not be ignored, they should be talked about. We are sexual animals. My lady and I have both read Sex at Dawn and are not particularly bound to the mainstream ideology of sex and intimacy (particularly monogamy), but we grew up with the puritanical undertones that permeate American culture and haven’t done any work to really change our reactions to things regarding sexual intimacy. This is not so much a worry for me, but more of a curious concern that is a private conversation between me and my girlfriend. However, being too private about these things is one of the reasons the broken, mainstream ideology of sexual intimacy still persists. For that reason, I feel I need to mention this – without giving too many details.

Cold/Hunger/Dark/Predators
The last thing I’m worried about are all the standard camping comforts and fears. I’ve had a fair share of discomfort, but probably not as extreme as the hunger I’m most likely going to experience while up there. I’m also still a little afraid of the dark, I hate the cold and am worried about cougars, wolves and bears… oh my!