Urban Scout For Hire!

Ideally, a wealthy philanthropist with anti-civilization philosophy sharing my sense of humor will fund my project by giving me a million dollars. Rich anti-civilizationists, please send me an e-mail at urbanscout (at) gmail (dot) com.

Short of that I need an experienced grant writer who likes my project and will right grants for it. Experienced grant writers with anti-civilization philosophy and my sense of humor, please e-mail me at urbanscout (at) gmail (dot) com.

If I can’t find that, I need to get an advance from a publishing company to finish writing my book, Born to Rewild. Publishing companies who like my writing and want to give me an advance to finish my book, please e-mail me at urbanscout (at) gmail (dot) com.

If I can’t find that, I need to have a realityTV production company produce my Urban Scout’s Crash Course show (I came so close to this one!). If you work for a realityTV production company, please e-mail me at urbanscout (at) gmail (dot) com.

While waiting for those pipe-dreams to pan out I will run my Urban Scout Sunday School classes again starting in March.

…In the meantime I’ll need to find another way to fund this project which probably means:

• Part-time work (20 hours) that
• Pays over $10.00p/h
• Has good benefits, even at part-time
• Has side benefits; free/discounted food or useful stuff for rewilding
• Leaves me feeling energized
• Has something to do with rewilding
• Takes place in Portland
• Where I can learn something new about rewilding
• Has awesome co-workers
• And starts immediately

Ideal Part-time Jobs:

• Learning to KJ at a non-smoking establishment
• Working to dismantle things (demolition crew?)
• Rewilding tutor for teenagers
• Expresso House Barrister
• Local farmers market
• Local organic food store

• ?

What I have:

• 5 years experience working as an environmental educator
• Deep knowledge base of civilizations flaws
• Street Credentials from the University of Life
• Web Design skills
• Photoshop skills
• Final Cut Pro skills
• Videographer skills
• Sewing Machine skills
• Microsoft Word skills
• Film Production Assistant skills
• Barista skills
• Acting skills
• Loin cloth skills
• Scriptwriting skills
• Just plain old mad skills, yo.

Yes folks, I have gone underground and become a soldier of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find me, maybe you can hire… Urban Scout. (cue theme music) Seriously though… Any ideas?

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2 responses to “Urban Scout For Hire!”

  1. Christine

    Dear Scout,

    Something will roll within your direction that will take to your liking, and when it does, it will roll smoothly, as well as quickly!

    Let the opportunities that may benefit from all of your intelligence and skills begin!

    Yes!!!!

  2. chiggles

    ever think of public access tv? that could get a few more interesteds and spread word.